Am I missing something?

4 Jun

For the past year I’ve fallen into a big dark work hole and haven’t had time to think about anything except for the current project that I was working on (which has been AMAZING!).  The past week is the first time in memory were I had a big project cancel and I was able to sit down without any distractions and ask myself, “Am I missing something?”

As a freelancer, the easiest part of the job is working on projects/being on set.  You have someone telling you where to be and what you need to do.  The toughest part is figuring out how to use your spare time as effectively as possible.  It seems like how hard you work during the ladder is just as important, if not more, than the former.  The second I stop working, I feel an overwhelming pressure to figure out my next step.  That’s the killer.  It creates a lot of sleepless nights.  The internet, which was your best friend becomes your enemy because you can’t help but drive yourself insane researching what else is going on out there.  Unlike a photographer, what I can’t do is go out on my own and build my portfolio.

For wardrobe and prop stylists and HMU artists, their portfolios are comprised a little differently.  To some extent, we’re only as good as the people who hire us.  What I mean by this, is that I can dress a set that I think my mom would be proud of, but if the photographer is an average shooter, the model falls flat, the hair & makeup is terrible, then the image is useless to me.  My work is only as good as the people I’m working with.  This is why it takes a hell of a long time to build a portfolio that you’d want to write home about.  Even at that, once you have images you like, there’s the next question, “Is this how I want to present myself?”  Which is followed by, “Does my work represent what I want to be doing?”  That’s where I’m at now and that’s where it has become pretty clear to  me that I need to revamp my website and this blog.  It’s a daunting task, one that may not be completely necessary seeing how most crew members beyond the photographer don’t put a ton of effort into their web presence because 80% of our work comes from referrals, but god damn it, it may help me sleep.  I want to look pretty on the inter web because I’m damn proud of what I’ve done since I’ve started this steam roller 10 years ago.  Here I come.

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